Inspire Me By The Way You Believe. In You

Feeling Inspired.

It has been a wild ride these past six months. Both personally, and professionally; which, well, is part of the ride I’ve been on, isn’t it? My professional life became my personal life, and vice versa. I finally chose, after twenty three long years of thinking, wishing, wanting but not believing in myself enough to pursue my dreams of writing, to just stop making excuses and try. I cannot believe I waited for as long as I did to let so many of my locked-away, forgotten, or only partially realized thoughts become the words here, the words that I have promised myself to spill out authentically and with sincerity for you to read. It’s been emotional, it’s been raw, it’s been healing. It’s been the richest, truest form of creativity flowing out of my heart in years, and I’ve dabbled in other art forms my whole life. All I have enjoyed, but have never felt as I do when I write- that I must. Its not even a matter of how I will, when I will, I just will. I just am, a writer of the stuff from my heart.

It was as if by giving myself permission, and then the encouragement and space to create this blog, that I finally unlocked a dam within myself that I hadn’t been aware existed, except for that pressure every now and then when I felt a yearning to write down something or I might burst- yes that should have been a clue. And once I gave myself the freedom to be me, a tumbling, crashing cascade of emotions, ideas, feelings, creations, purpose poured out.

Not everything I write is a present day topic in my life, and not everything I discuss belongs in the past either. It’s as if my words have somehow been given permission to transcend the time they are describing, to become a part of all of it. The past and the present, and the future not yet written. As if there is no longer a need to keep experiences categorized in finite order. I rarely go back and look at a piece after I have written it- except to catch a glaring editing error! But I do go back periodically after I receive a comment or a question, or a kind word in regards to something I have said, something I have put forth, and very often, if it was written several months ago- I can still feel the hurt, or the beauty, the sorrow or the courage behind each and every letter. And perhaps most surprising is that I have realized these feelings are not always my own. I have learned as I continue to write, to take in the emotions from all around me. To pay more attention to the hearts of those I meet, those I know, or those I never had the chance to, and those I hope to someday. It’s been awe-inspiring to see people for their hearts, instead of the shells we all so often hide behind.

I’ve noticed over the course of the past several months a reoccurring phenomenon in my life. When I look at the many lives surrounding mine, I am continually amazed at how many inspirational souls have touched my life,  leaving lasting impressions with their own creations, their own passions, achievements, attempts, failures, triumphs, but most off all, their perseverance. I have taken it all in, and am finding that the more I look around to see the gifts of others, the more I find. And I am simply awestruck at the many talents of those who have all been intentionally put into my life. I am learning to intentionally appreciate being witness to them. I have soaked up every bit of the pools of their strength, of dedication, of the conviction in following their own passions; and it has become what powers the dam within me, that has broken lose in my heart to keep flowing freely through my words.

In the past few months there have been so many people I have truly seen for the first time because I am finally looking at their hearts. People placed in my life to show me what it means to be incredible, to be vulnerable, to be selfless, strong, confident, resilient. I have found over these months, my own inspiration to keep writing out my heart’s innermost thoughts, by first filling it with the inspiration of the hearts around me. I have come to realize that believing in yourself is the greatest value one can possess, and the greatest source of inspiration for others to recognize and emulate for themselves. It doesn’t matter if confidence ever leads to a particular success, confidence itself is the success. So thank you to the countless hearts I’ve drawn from, for being brave enough to show the world that you believe in yourself. I for one, have been watching and I think you are amazing.

I’ve seen strangers save lives with their skilled hands and sharp minds, save my father’s life even. I’ve seen friends triumphantly start new careers, or nervously exit them for something their heart longs for more. I’ve seen people move across the globe for adventure or love. I’ve watched loved ones scrape up money to start a business, and others scrape up the courage to leave a bad one. I’ve seen those I admire stumble, and those who’s determination I envy, soar. I’ve seen perseverance in the face of adversity, and I’ve witnessed loyalty in the eye of a storm. Over comers of loss become over givers of hope. It’s been a ride these past few months. I am learning from it all. I am inspired by it all. I will keep writing about it all. I sincerely hope I can inspire even one person, not with any amount of success my words may ever bring me in this world; but with the leap I took in putting them out there for you to see what’s in my heart. My hope is that with them, you will find what’s in yours- and then believe in yourself enough to inspire someone with it.

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