A Former Mortgage Pro’s 5 Tips for Having Your Dream Home and Living Your Dream Life

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With a decade of my life, and thousands upon thousands of hours of experience in this area, I thought you, my readers may find my point of view of some interest.  I offer these tips without judgment, and with the utmost love. My wish for you is that you will receive them as some of the surest ways to achieve your dream home and dream life~  After all, we all want the dream.

Tip 1. Look around. Do you see four walls and a roof? A pile of wood or bricks that is doing a decent job of storing your things and your memories and most of all, your love? Great. You are already half way there. You don’t need your name on the deed to make this your home.

Its yours if you live there. Be that by contract, family, or circumstance; if you lay your head there, own it. That space is yours to care for and yours to let flourish if you want to. Do you come home and wish you had more? That your home looked different? Was bigger? Cleaner? Had better furniture? In a better town? Let’s start here. Your home is exactly the result of how much you love it. Its the product of your efforts. The goal for us all is to be proud of the home we make, whether it was given to you, or you earned it. This is your space, where your life lives.

Tip 2. Look around again. Sorry if you’re getting a neck ache. Last time, promise. What do you see? Are there loads of clothes on the floor? Stacks of unpaid bills on the table? What about piles of dishes in the sink? Tons of takeout boxes? Empty soda cans stacked up in the trash? (Bonus points if these made it into the recycle bin.) If you answered yes to any of these, you need to purge.

Not the actual stuff you see lying around in an already discarded, put off fashion, but  purge your mind from the habit of consuming more than you need. If you have more of any one item that, say, if you were fleeing from the world to a desert island and you only had room for one of said item in your backpack, then you have too much. And too much is the number one road block I have seen people face over and over in achieving their dream home, and living their dream life. People refuse to accept this fact, and I have seen it cause so many to continue to claw their way to a dream that they will never be able to reach.. but they still refuse to believe this is the reason why they struggle hopelessly. De-clutter your mind from the noise you’ve always been told about getting what you want. About deserving this intangible dream of more.

Tip 3. Accept that those who love you want the best for you. This one seems simple enough, right? And you may be wondering what this has to do with tips for living your dream life in your dream house. Trust me.

If you have ever had a grandmother, father, boss, mentor- anyone who cares for you, tell you to be careful with money; not to fall victim to spending more than you have, keep track of where your money goes, and learn to live within your means, within your earned life. Then you are rich. To have someone who cares enough about you to share with you one of life’s greatest secrets is the best gift we can receive. The secret is: money is a game. Its you, against it. It’s purpose is served when it gets you what you need, and if you insist that what you need is to fill your life with everything you want, then money wins. And I promise, because I’ve seen this so many times I have lost count: you will never have everything you want.

Money isn’t your friend. Its not your access to a dream life. In fact, in mine, for many, many years money was the tool, “the dream” was the carrot, and you were the pawn; used to leverage your dreams against your needs in hopes you would buy in. If you wanted that dream house badly enough, you’d trade your needs for your wants, your existing happiness for the struggle to juggle more– and the result was most certainly that you would owe, dearly for it. Money wins. It makes no difference really whether we are talking about dream homes or dream cars, dream vacations, even dream jeans. Once you see that the dream we’ve been told is so worth chasing, is actually nothing more than something we already have, then we may have an easier time accepting the truth. That money does not love you. It needs you, but it does not want the best for you. But those who do love you, they truly do. And so, as one of them, take inventory of who is winning in your life right now, and decide if you are happy with it. Ask yourself if you are not happy with what you have, if you  are happy risking what you already have for an imaginary more. If you don’t consider yourself someone who has yet achieved your dream life, your dream house, your dream whatever- then I will bet I know the answer. Stop buying into the hype. Trust me, its much less costly to decide that what you have, what you can afford to create for yourself within your means, is exactly what your dream should look like.

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Tip 4. Accept that you can live a beautiful life regardless of your financial circumstances, then you will be richly rewarded with the only thing that can trump money at its own game- contentment.

Happiness is a word thrown around so often in this life. Where you will find it, how you can reach it, and to never stop pursuing it. The truth is, being happy, being content with the life you are able to provide for yourself by fulfilling your needs, while ignoring money’s lure to fulfill your every want; that is the arrival at your dreams. Its pretty simple. Am I suggesting no one should strive to attain their goals, such as home ownership, or buying a bigger, newer, better, whatever? No. What I am saying, is that the greatest heartaches I’ve seen in my career working with countless people chasing the dream, came not from uncontrollable devastation in their personal lives, but from a false belief that if they could just get their hands on more money, life would finally be a dream. Good people with health, jobs, children, pets, friends, love.. all the riches of life, would practically sell their souls for an opportunity at more. It saddened me, as much as it paid me, and so I continued on selling the lie. The truth is- look around, if your life is already full of these true riches, then you are living your dream life, just wake up and see it.

Tip 5. Life is not all roses, even for those who understand that the dream is just a state of mind. If you are unhappy with something beyond your control, a loss, a struggle, or a misfortune of some sort, believe that this setback does not define your dream life. And your home, whatever and wherever it is, can be your dream home, simply if you believe it is.

As the line goes in the Wizard of Oz,

“You’ve always had the power my dear, you just had to learn it for yourself.”   – Glinda, the Good Witch.

So, take it from someone who was paid incredibly well for many years to educate, promote, and sell, all the reasons why money is the necessary means to a dream home and a dream life, because I am here now to share with you this final tip- don’t believe it. The truth is, money can break you into a million pieces if you let it. I’ve seen it divide the richest lives. I’ve seen it disguise itself as the goal, the choice, the proof, the pride, the happy, the dream. I’ve seen it crush spirits. I’ve seen it bring out the worst in people. I’ve seen it bring out the worst in me. Sure, money can aide you in a reaching a life you think you want, but be prepared for the cost. You already have your dream life if you have any home at all. The tip is to take care of what you already have. And if you don’t have a place of your own that you call home, but you have people who love you enough to help you, or even share theirs, then you absolutely have a dream life. If you just choose to believe it, then surprise, you are already living your dream.

The key to enjoying it? Be loving to it, to yourself for creating your dreams. Take care of it, have pride in it. Keep love in it. Because if you have love in your home, the place that is yours, you are beyond rich. And if you are fortunate enough to have the gift of love beyond your walls, out in your life, and you are giving it away as quickly as you get it, then you have arrived somewhere, a dream life: It’s a place many will only dream of, without understanding why they are never able to get there. Love is the only currency that makes dreams come true, and we all have access to it. Don’t barter with the dreams you already have, to sell yourself short chasing dreams that really don’t exist.

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