You and Me kid, A Love Hack. 9 Ways To Like Yourself Again
When is the right time?
When you’re married or when you’re not? When life is upside down or perfectly in place?
Wow Jules. That’s like hitting the reset button. Are you sure your ready to do that all over again?
A response to the news that a third son, my precious chance to learn what I never knew I needed to, was already on the way into our family. A first for him, a 3rd for me. A first together. Into a life that was upside down and one big question.
It hurt my heart to wonder how those words could be spoken, lest thought. And surely I had never thought them… until then. Then they ruled me for a long while. The world seemed upside down. And I barely recognized who I was. I had played life safely until that point. All the right ways, in all the expected orders, perfectly in place. Now I was
ready going to do it another way.
Every day leading up to him I wondered what would this be like. It didn’t fit in my perfect little box, even if that box no longer had walls or a lid, and had been held together by notions of what should be for a long while.
Worry was for nothing. reset or not, this was right. He was the best thing that ever could have happened in an unexpected order. Perfectly in place. A family that was built upside down, seemed to find a foundation in him, at the top, which was really the bottom. Another chance to do it another way. I wasn’t absolutely sure until two years, three months and twenty one days later, that upside down would stick. It did when I was sure in front of loved ones, three sons, and the open sky. And I could finally breathe. Another chance and another way. A small life that changed it all.
Is he easy? Is he the same? Is he like the others? Does he know? Would I want him any other way? There are no yesses. I only want him the way he came to us, and the way he made us a family. Completely upside down.
Fiercely protective of this right side up love, of this small life; that grew a love bigger than anyone could have guessed. He taught me. When I wasn’t looking, when the darkness tried, he showed me. Nothing will ever be more important again. He has my full attention, they all do. My pride, my surrender, my whole heart.
He is in fact a reset button. I didn’t like that then, but how true it was, and truer now. The kind that gives second chances is the best kind. Now undivided, not like the first time before him. Before it was shared, split, distracted, unseen, and at times, ignored. It looked perfect then, but it was a shattered, splintered wait for me to be ready, love. I needed to be reset. Now stronger than its ever been, I’m here. Here, in this moment for him, for them. Guilt for not seeing, for trying to turn something that was beautifully upside down, is gone. I wouldn’t have it any other way. He is my other way. He is my reset button. He is my life upside down that fell perfectly in place. Thank God for him. Thank God for second chances. And thank God for bringing small lives with bigger than life reasons, to show me another way.
A simple love hack, 9 ways to like yourself again:
1. Accept life will turn you upside down no matter how hard you try not to let it.
2. The best things will never be planned.
3. Let the different shine over the same every chance you get.
4. Understand darkness will try, send it packing by following the light, even if you don’t know where its leading you.
5. Never compare a life that was planned with fantasy, to a life that happened all by itself with love.
6. If you must quit something that’s not working to make sense of everything, don’t think twice.
7. Love the upside (down). If you embrace the new perspective, you see that it all falls perfectly into place.
8. Never accept the words meant to bring you down. Take those words and flip them to find the beautiful.
9. Everyone deserves a reset button.