Be Strong, I Died Today.

engravedwithMusicStrength_is_deeper_than_skin_by_engravedwithMusic

This may come as a shock, but its true.

I tried as hard as I could, for as long as I could, to make you feel complete, whole. I couldn’t. I tried to make things easier for you, lighten your load the best way I knew how and carry your burdens myself until I could barely stand, but you pushed me away. I didn’t understand why, but I do now. And so, I’m gone.

After a while, you weren’t there for me anymore. I should have seen that. You never had time for me. Even when I called out to you desperately, you turned your back on me. I thought we’d be together forever, but you had other plans. You were seeing others, while I waited alone for you to return to me. What did they have to offer that was so much better than me? I loved you more. I kept you safe. I wanted you to myself. Why couldn’t you just listen?

I know that what we once had was a while ago. I’ve been waiting for so long for you to remember me, us, and come back to me, that I have been clinging to our memories to keep me alive. I have tried hopelessly to make you remember too. I can’t do it anymore. I see now you’ve moved on. You are different without me. You seem, better.

You are happy now, whole. I held you back from that for too long, I realize this now. So be strong, my love. For I see now that it was I who kept you from that all along.

It was I: your hate, fear and regret

that you needed to let go of. So that you could really live, I had to die. I did it for you, for us. Never forget me, ok? It’s so important.

Let life be harsh to you. Let it leave you, break you, crush your spirit and steal your dreams- but be strong, anyway. You have found that you can live without me and still endure these things. You don’t need me anymore to hold you back; carry you, protect you from all of this life and more; there is so much more. You are better because you went on without me, because you let me go- so don’t forget. Leave me here and never look back.

Be happy. Be courageous. Be determined.Be adventurous.Be vulnerable. Be real.

And always, remember you are strong.

Yours once,
hate, fear, regret